no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
