"it" just moved
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
