If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
