The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
