I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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