Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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