Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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