Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
