he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
