Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
