I wanna passion pit in your ass
what day is it and did you see me today?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
