guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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