she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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