guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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