He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
