Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
