Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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