There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
