my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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