he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
