do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
