yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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