i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
