I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
