Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
