whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
