where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
