I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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