Pappa wants mamma naked
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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