I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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