You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
stop calling my apartment porn island.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
