Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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