Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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