Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize