is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
