i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
