I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
