just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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