I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
