I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
