dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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