he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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