I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
