I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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