Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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