your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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