He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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