About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
