Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
