I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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