i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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