I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
