it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
