I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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