oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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