I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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