Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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