There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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