I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
