I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
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You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
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hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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