when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
