he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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