I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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