You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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